Por este año que se acaba, se acaba con lo bien que estaba y se acaba con lo mal que estaba en esos momentos que pasé por todo lo que me rodeaba, me he vuelto a tropezar siempre con la misma piedra, todo me ha marchado muy bien pero de repente todo me ha marchado muy mal de golpe, me caí profundo, me vuelto otra vez a caer, pero yo me levanto de mis desgracias y aprendo de todos mis errores, el año que se acaba este día, yo no quiero olvidar de aquel día tan feliz que pase con ella pero no volveré a verla en mis ojos por las cosas inapropiadas que le he dicho tan confeso y enamoradizo. Por este año que se acaba, se acaba…
This year it just was for better or worse, because first everything went me great but secondly I went stumbling over the same stone because of the circumstances that I have this life that I've been to about to return to throwing in the towel in the field, this year was like sometimes better than worse, the success you have with my projects and my creations I was always taking many steps forward but do not have much success with women I would take one in front once, continued to visit each month in the living room of my friend, meeting artists exhibiting as always there in his works, actions and performances, have been participating in the second part of my micro-conference in early August in which there were songs, dances and laughs for all ages, with the support of my artist friend of his people, with my concerns of my ideas, my purpose and my presence there in that does not fit everyone in a living room, inviting all who have given permission to enter and leave the premises, talking and chatting with the people around me here, see me I'm valuable and I appreciate all the people who know at this time, the artist in and out of the house of a friend, casting photos, sharing food and drink for all tastes, and at parties of my people have participated in the first exhibition of local artists participating in two works two techniques and two of my facets I always enclose in myself, the performance of my friend and the first fashion show in the square of my people was the greatest thing I've experienced in my life despite the years as delicate as parasitic pandemics infect us all, but it gets better and will continue in the coming future and supporters is a little bigger than (the mine), the people of the whole region, which makes us more large and continue to grow over the years, everything changes and everything stays in place as usual, but a day on the parties of my people, a girl of his people, face blonde with white rabbit, dressed cock, hippie and flamenco dancing with her two friends in the outdoor party in the square of my town, I grabbed my arms appreciation me, and at that time I was very happy with it, my heart started to beat me too it in her cute face, began to fall for one last girl, a girl who's theater festival the town where she saw him born and grow fulfilling their dreams made a reality, knowing good stars of Spanish cinema collecting his award to his great national recognition, a girl who works as a teacher reinforcing the afternoon with the kids, a good girl who gets her beautiful dresses for weddings, baptisms and first communions, sometimes going to the hall of his close friend, thought much in it, in its beauty and sympathy, I wished with all my heart beating at her, resisting a temptation for a girl of his people (the largest mine), I had never seen the school where I study, did not know anything and did not remember it very well at all, that girl was my last big promise of my life, that girl was my movie star, was my feeling, my passion for loving her and loving her in my arms, I would marry her and I live very happy being calm and collected, blonde redhead before and as I had before, never forget that girl at the time, in my deep pounding in my grief, feeling a great lady, wanting to play my guitar to her, is thinking about seeing her again before my brown eyes, the most beautiful girl I've ever met in my life, I feel it in my soul when I met him at the wedding of my best friend, remember you missed a picture with her friends when we left the church, she wore a lovely and elegant green dress with gold heels, her red painted lips in passionate tone, his smile was biding me, I looked so friendly, cheerful, happy and fun, the master of the feast, the dancing best, you want to stay up late and stay long hours, which goes home at seven, eight and nine, and wake up at two in the afternoon skipping breakfast for lunch, I admit that I like to party and stay up late (the most important that you have throughout the year), I like to sleep much at ease and to dream (just in case). But something troubles me deeply when I cross the wires one day, in a pre- inaugural gala festival of his people, he saw the two short presented with elegant pink dress with a much older friend, the I missed first penalty for the delay and the second I saw it in half and that is why after the screening I saw a performance by a municipal orchestra playing the original soundtracks of cinema (projection of fragments of movies), then went out with my friends outdoors talking and chatting with friends and suddenly left the girl with her elegant pink dress leaving the theater hall and my heart was beating too before her, saw me and kiss on the cheek, and I was again very happy to see her again, so madly in love with her without losing sight, seeing with my own eyes my heart was beating too bpm, wanted to see her with all my desire, I wanted to talk to her face, I wanted with all my eagerness to see her again, after being outdoors, dine with friends at a restaurant named as universal and Cubist painter, chatting and talking with friends, passing it in good a good Saturday evening, good evening after the pre-inaugural gala of the festival, suddenly when that girl after the dinner appeared together with his close friend entering the restaurant, sat down next to a friend of mine and I started talk to her saying nice things and she is saying that well, which is bundled and having a boyfriend, and after listening through my ears and looking into his eyes I started to black out the sadness and disappointment of my life, I felt enraged as a little boy, stick a fist on the table for courage, I was disappointed by it so you had said at that time, that day I did not like the movie at all, I get angry a lot, that last promise has been broken me of my heart, I felt overwhelmed and hurt collapsing to the ground, I realized that this girl did not want me at all, she took me by my arms that day friend, I felt very sad and resentful about her, I began to fall back into bad luck, had it as a treasure but she speaks the truth and nothing but the truth has a commitment to a couturier of his people, who still triumphs runways around the world, who want to be rich in sensations for women, one who is young and promising, it is believed that David Delfín but dye hair blonde boat, who attended the first gateway of my people winning the first prize of the jury at the first contest this year, who does not think about or look at him in the face, because I hated him a message telling her mobile, so I undid my pain and anger towards her, the girl who wanted to the time as happy and content, I had to confess her love, I felt very nervous unleashing chicken for that girl, that's hitting punches on the table and feeling the look of a dog on a leash around the neck, but I do not bite like a dog or hit him a cake in the face and all those violent acts which it never happen at all, I just lose my temper again and I've been about to throw a glass with a drink at the ground by my pain and anger towards her. I returned back taking two pills each day (one day and one at night), I went back to the psychologist for my return to relapse every time I came back down, depressed and bored unable to speak or see to face with it, never to see another show like every month in the living room of my friend, the genius of the independent space of the house, on the terrace surrounded by olive trees, sunsets, distant views to the rock of love and inner Arabic style, do not know if I can go back to visit again, because of me I can not go, gives me something could not go, give me something that I heated the head for that reason, I thought suicide foolishness, cowardly act that escapes the pain and suffering, these attempts have had for wanting to be a coward, that of killing yourself I've thought many times in many ways, I thought of the fallen idols music as Ian Curtis and Kurt Cobain, tormented listening me to bands like Joy Division, Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails, I was tormented life darkened by a girl, isolated in my dark room for vent alone, whimpering of my sad eyes, feeling grief and resentment, I vented writing and preparing my poems in a red book to get rid of the demons of my past, those days I have to forget my sight, I'll leave it alone but I suffer a lot from her.
For this year ends, it ends with how good it was and is just so bad it was in those moments that I passed everything around me, I have become a long trip over the same stone, everything has left me very well but suddenly everything went me very badly hit, I fell deep, I come back again to fall, but I rise from my misfortune and learn from all my mistakes, the year that has just this day, I do not want to forget of that happy day spent with her but I will not see it in my eyes for the inappropriate things that I have said so confessed and lovesick. For this year ends, just...